Adena Bank Lees
LCSW, LISAC, BCETS, CP
Heal. Break Free. Live in Your Truth.
A Free Clinical Resource — For Survivors & Clinicians
Whether You Lived It or Treat It — This Resource Was Made for You.
Childhood Emotional Incest (CEI) is a misunderstood and under-recognized form of childhood emotional abuse — one that leaves survivors confused, clinicians under-equipped, and families silent. This page exists to change that.
FREE Download — The Childhood Emotional Incest Self-Assessment (CEIS). A trauma-informed reflection tool used by therapists worldwide. Developed by Dr. Elif Çimşir, PhD.
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As Featured In • Trauma Therapist Project • Therapy Chat • Boom Goddess Radio • Sierra Tucson
Two Audiences. One Assessment.
This Assessment Is For You — No Matter Where You're Sitting.
Whether you're searching for the language to name your own experience, or searching for a validated tool to use with your clients — the CEIS meets you exactly where you are.
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For Survivors
You've felt the weight of something you couldn't name. The CEIS gives you words for an experience that lived in your body before it lived in your vocabulary.
- Language for what happened to you
- Clarity about confusing childhood dynamics
- Gentle, trauma-informed reflection prompts
- A grounded bridge into the book and your healing path
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For Clinicians
You need more than a worksheet. The CEIS is a peer-developed, two-factor clinical instrument you can integrate into intake, assessment, and conversation with clients today.
- A validated 12-item clinical assessment
- Two scored factors: Surrogate Spouse Unsatisfactory Childhood
- A guided conversation framework for sessions
- Direct access to the book as a professional resource
The Experience Behind the Assessment
You Couldn't Name It.
But You Felt It Every Day.
Covert emotional incest happens when a child is pulled into the emotional role of a partner, confidant, or caretaker for a parent. It looks like closeness from the outside. It feels like a burden from the inside. There is no overt violation — and yet the boundary that should have protected childhood was quietly dissolved.
Survivors often carry shame they cannot trace, relationships that feel impossible to regulate, and a low hum of guilt for naming what hurt them. Clinicians often sense the pattern but lack a framework to identify and discuss it. The CEIS was built to give both groups the same starting point: a name, a structure, and a path forward.
The Instrument
A Clinical Tool That Works in the Therapy Room — and at Home.
The Childhood Emotional Incest Self-Assessment (CEIS) is a 12-item, two-factor instrument designed for both reflective and clinical use. Developed by Dr. Elif Çimşir, PhD, it has been adopted by therapists worldwide as a structured way to identify and discuss covert emotional incest dynamics.
- 01 — 12-item self-report assessment, designed for adult recall
- 02 — Two empirically derived factors: Surrogate Spouse and Unsatisfactory Childhood
- 03 — Trauma-informed language and sequencing throughout
- 04 — Developed and validated by Dr. Elif Çimşir, PhD, peer-grounded methodology
For survivors, it offers structured reflection. For clinicians, it offers a validated conversation entry point.
Get the Free CEIS Assessment
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The Book Survivors Have Been Waiting For.
Covert Emotional Incest — Revised Updated Edition by Adena Bank Lees, LCSW, LIAC, BCETS, CP
Drawing from 30+ years of clinical practice, Adena gives readers a definitive, compassionate, and clinically grounded examination of covert emotional incest — and a clear path through it.
For Survivors
- Language to articulate what happened
- Real stories that mirror your experience
- A practical, sequenced path forward
For Clinicians
- A clinical framework for identifying CEI
- A teachable resource for your client work
- Synthesis of 30+ years of clinical experience
Meet the Author
Adena Bank Lees, LCSW, LIAC, BCETS, CP
Trauma Therapist | Author | Speaker | Trainer | Clinical Consultant
For more than 30 years, Adena has worked at the intersection of trauma, addiction, and family systems — helping survivors name their experience, integrate it, and reclaim their lives. She is the originator of the ABL® Trauma-Responsive Psychodrama model, an experiential framework now taught and practiced internationally.
Adena has presented at Sierra Tucson, ASGPP Dallas, IAGP Malmö, and Tele'Drama, and has been featured on The Trauma Therapist Project, Therapy Chat, and Boom Goddess Radio.
30+ Years
Clinical Practice
ABL® Model
Trauma-Responsive Psychodrama
International
Speaker Trainer
For the Clinical Community
Are You a Therapist or Mental Health Professional?
You see the pattern in your clients' relationships, their guilt, their over-functioning — but the vocabulary to name it has been missing from training. The CEIS gives you a structured, peer-developed instrument to bring into the room. The book gives you the framework to teach it.
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Integrate into intake assessment
Use the CEIS as a structured conversation starter from the first session.
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Validated two-factor scoring
Surrogate Spouse and Unsatisfactory Childhood subscales, peer-developed.
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Continuing professional resource
Pair the assessment with the book for ongoing clinical application.
Your Free Download Awaits
Healing Begins With Awareness.
So Does Great Clinical Work.
Download the Childhood Emotional Incest Self-Assessment — a trauma-informed reflection tool used by therapists worldwide, developed by Dr. Elif Çimşir, PhD. Free, immediate, and made for both audiences.
Adena Bank Lees
LCSW, LISAC, BCETS, CP
Heal. Break Free. Live in Your Truth.
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The CEIS and the contents of this site are provided for educational and reflective purposes only and are not a substitute for diagnosis or treatment by a licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis, please contact a qualified provider or emergency services.
© Adena Bank Lees. All rights reserved.